Baby Mother to Baby Momma


Fourteen children by 13 different women in Genesee County and more than $530,000 in unpaid child support.

Even in a county with $700 million in uncollected child support, Thomas Frazier may hold the unenviable title of biggest deadbeat dad.

After years of dodging support payments, Frazier was thrown in jail this week and given the choice of doing 90 days or coming up with about $28,000.

“This guy gives fathers a bad name,” said Genesee County Friend of the Court Jack Battles.

http://www.mlive.com/news/flint/index.ssf/2009/04/thomas_frazier_father_of_14_ch.html

You know I remember when baby mother/momma used to mean a girl or woman who was too young to be having a baby. She was usually a baby herself. Same with baby father/daddy. Now Baby momma means a girl or woman who is one of many mothers that a man has a child with. These women aren’t wives, but they are usually expected to take care of this mans kids, but also take care of him even though he has a harem of women all around the block, city hell who knows even the whole damn world.  Baby momma is a term not meant for married women.  So married women don’t call yourself a baby momma and don’t let anyone else refer that to you either.  Also wifey (another post)  I also think there’s a connection with Baby Mother turning into baby mommas as that many baby mothers/mommas are mostly young women and girls who have children by men having women with multiple women and young girls and women having multiple children with multiple men (damaging cycle that creates a whole new dangerous and dysfunctional cycle within the community and society as a whole.)

I am writing this post as a response to websites I was looking up when I was researching virginity in today’s world especially for those who are older.  It’s just sad that many women and men are made to feel they have lost out on something, something is wrong with them, they are sheltered, shy, not cute, or a more stupid one I came across in which a poster told a woman that she must never have been in love,because she’s a virgin at 30 and making love comes out of loving someone (please).  That’s a part of it, but why should a woman or man give something up because of what others think.  It’s funny that none mentioned maybe the woman (which is what most of what I was looking up was about) felt the need, or wanted to wait.  Not to mention the issues of pregnancy and STD.   One idiot even told the woman to just get on with it.  Even had the gall to ask what was she waiting for?  I mean seriously that’s her business!

What they also fail to consider is the idea of that special someone.  Which to me is utter crap! (another post)  Many women have given it up to so-called special someones only to get preggers (and maybe the guy stays for a while, even marries her) most of the time the guy is not around.  Then he goes to the next target and pulls the same crap on them.  Meanwhile she meets a new guy who does the same thing until she catches on and sometimes it can be too late (STD etc.)  Hell by most of the comments I saw I don’t think many should have been even thinking of having sex, because half sounded immature.

What many of these people making fun of women and men who are still virgins is that they don’t have the baby momma and non-baby momma drama that these individuals tend end up in.  I ain’t gonna lie.  I’m a VG and proud.  People make fun because I am older 29.  I watch my mom(my dad died and did somewhat help with his kids, but damn if that man wasn’t the ultimate baby daddy) and too many other bw, ww, hw, aw who ended up having kids too young, even older by men who liked to make them, but didn’t like to raise them.  I have friends, cousins, aunts etc. who had babies early and had to struggle.  From what I’ve learned over the years is that those who always harp on virginity are virgins themselves or get very little in the sex department so I don’t listen to them that much.  What is unnerving is this idea of promoting virginity as something weird in mainstream society in a time of STD’s (which there was never really a safe time. The American revolutionary soldiers brought STD’s to their wives when they came back from the war) pregnancy, drama that you wouldn’t believe etc.

I am so sick of white mainstream society picking up things that are dysfunctional within the black community and then adding it to mainstream society.  Why the hell would you want to pick up something that is dysfunctional and add it to your culture and then complain when you see dysfunction happening within your group?  Movies like (although funny need to not be made)  The problem with a movie like this is that the movie is making this seem as something normal and an alternative.  But see they are telling it from another culture’s point of view.  One that does not ascribe to the so-called bc’s idea of baby momma and baby daddy.  Because if viewers noticed at the end the man ends up with the girl at the end and they move in together in an apartment (that he worked for (he was a slacker) so that he could provide for his new family)  Who knows maybe they even got married later.  Not going to lie I have a cousin who this has happened to.  They had the baby first and got married a few years later, but it was always in the cards for them.  My cousins hubby is a very marriage and family minded and oriented guy.  That’s not always the cast.  Most of the time the woman ends up raising the kid(s) alone, working more than one job trying to keep food on the table.  Not to mention going to school while doing all of this.  Or they take the term like the movie (half the time not sure if they even know what these terms mean) and make it about what it’s not.

Now contrast this with the movie which was literally about a young girl who was a mother and her older sister (who she was raised to believe was her sister) who was in fact her mother.  Her baby father (2 kids by) was a singer as her aspirations was to be a singer as well and eventually that’s what she did.  The movie didn’t glorify it, it was only to open eyes to what is going on within the black community in Britan, the U. S.(indirectly, because we can mos def associate).  It also showed how this can create a cycle (the daughter didn’t know, but she was still in an environment where this is probably a norm for the young bw there.)

What is up with this culture that thinks that choosing to be a virgin is not normal?  What is up with this culture that thinks that being a baby momma is normal?  What’s up with the idea that there is something wrong with a black woman who wants college, career (or being a homemaker, that’s another topic) the dating, engagement, marriage, the home then the kids etc.

Actually looking at what I wrote; yeah I am a tad bit ticked.  Oh well!!!

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Learn a Language

So I am studying Spanish now. Most of the Spanish I learned was from Pimsleur. I am now in Spanish II at school, but I have noticed that when I am in a class such as the ones in college, even secondary I tend to worry more about keeping up grades than about learning it. I have slacked off on the program. But I will have to say this, Pimsleur is da bomb. I just listened to some of Learning Spanish Like Crazy and I think I will wait on it. From what I heard it seems pretty good, but goes into explaining things. Yes Pimsleur is slower and more formal, but I would rather learn that way first and then do the other program.   It’s also pricey.  I found it at the library.  I have also done FSI off and on. I will wait on this as well until I have finished Pimsleur.

You can find it for free (the public domain FSI) at Free FSI Language Audio Courses . Free Spanish podcast, but the notes aren’t free Notes in Spanish
Spanish Dict is another great place.  LoMasTV is another goodie, but it’s not free.  Free BBC Mi Vida Loca Free Destinos teaches Spanish through a Novela style program There is also I also studied French in High School and have since forgotten most.  That’s the next language I am going to learn. Coffee Break Spanish no longer free as well. They also have other languages.

Novela

Want to Chat in Spanish

Espanglish Chat

English Spanish Link

Another thing I’m doing is watching Novelas.  You can also watch movies such as Star Wars, Ever After etc. in pretty good dubbed Spanish, French etc.

I will be looking for other language learning programs for French, Spanish and other languages.
I think it’s important to learn a language.  Not only does it help career wise it helps to meet new people.  So try to learn at least one new language.  I think it will be very beneficial

I am offically Over Explorer.

Okay so I am a new fan of mozilla. Explorer started acting up. I had to click it like multiple times just to bring up one damn browser. I went and downloaded Mozilla. Seriously Mozilla is so much easy and faster.

Don’t Buy the Hype That Black People Can’t Be Racist

Yes I agree that racism is for men. Usually most racist actions are issues between men. But black people especially black women need to stop listening to this crap that racism is only for non-blacks. Are black people serious? Yes there has been hispanic violence on black people as well. But again we need to realize that most of the time it’s between men.

Black women becareful who we listen to and who we align ourselves with. Racism might be for men, but we make it indirectly for us along with them when we keep aligning ourselves with fools.

What Books, Movies, MOWs can You See as a TV Series?

I was reading http://blackwomenmakingmovies.wordpress.com/2010/04/09/create-a-tv-series/ .   Cool idea btw.  Anyways it got me thinking about books, tv movies and movies that I think would make great series.   Some are tv movies (MOW) that are obvious pilots.  They produce a mow pilot and if the ratings are good the networks greenlight a series.  Man From Atlantis as well as others.  Then there are the episodes (pilots) within an existing series like Private Practice within Grey’s Anatomy. 

Anyways back to the movies, MOW and books that would make great series.  I’ve seen many that I’m not sure why they aren’t series.  Here’s my list:

Down in the Delta (I so could have seen this as a tv series (If BET didn’t suck they could have picked up this as a series) plus I would have liked her to meet a new man while she was learning about herself and improving her and her children’s lives)

Love Songs

Waterproof  1999 would have made a good series as well. 

L. A. Banks Vampire Huntress series

A lifetime movie based on a Nora Roberts novel called Montana Sky that reminds me of McLeod’s Daughters (from Australia and was on I think either WE or O, bwmm mentioned that it’s on Netflix.  Gotta check that one out myself)

Claudine (my version though would get them out of the hood, or even if they are still in the same neighborhood he would help them out financially as he is now a part of the house hold)

The Surge A. K. A. The Source (low-budget sci-fi movie about kids getting special powers)

You know thinking about it now The Wedding would make for a good tv series

Also Ruby’s Bucket of Blood.  Either the story as it was with the movie or after her and her daughter left.

The Gifted One (which I suspect was a pilot disguised as a MOW) http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0097431/

Where the Heart is would also make for a good series

Weirdly enough Waiting to Exhale (but the women will be (yes having drama) but meeting to new men etc.  Also the Wives Club (which to me is similar, but not as jacked up)

Watching Crooklyn now it seems silly in some parts, but it would make for a good series either before the mother dies or after.  Hey Buffy was a messed up movie, but a great tv series when Whedon was able to make the series the way he originally wanted to make the movie.

Drive By:  A Love Story actually a short film, but it could have easily been a tv drama geared towards AA’s.  This is something UPN or BET could have picked up.

Where Have All the People Gone (which  I suspect this one was a Pilot disguised as a MOW as well)

Gangland (which is a cheesy gangs have over run L. A. kind of low-budget film, but it would have made for a cool series especially if something like this a sort of post apoc type of story happens in the world)

The postman

Country Remedy

I think Second Chances would have made a good kids series

Movies, books etc. I thought about that ended up being series

Soul Food

Blade (even though to me they didn’t do as good as they could have)

The Witches of Eastwick

Christy

Vampire Diaries

The Never Ending Story

I have others, but what books, movies, mow do you see as tv series?

Black Women Country Singers

Cover of Johnny Cash’s Ring of Fire (this chick rocks she even did a Janes Addiction Cover)

Does a cover of No Air

Interesting history
  They weren’t country, but his is still cool to see and really shows how we have regressed when it comes to music.  I mean damn all we have now is hip-hop

http://www.rissipalmer.com/

http://www.mikomarks.com/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tina_Turns_the_Country_On

http://www.candi-staton.com/bio/index.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Linda_Martell

http://www.complex.com/blogs/2008/03/28/five-black-country-singers-before-akon/

If anyone knows of any other singers please post them in the comments.  Even if you aren’t into country it’s nice seeing black singers/musicians especially women that are expanding their horizons.  Also I’m planning on going through a country music festival of my own.  This is more or less a way to experience the music (for more than a week) to see how I really feel, what I like etc.  I did something like this as a kid and it was only for a week.  I don’t think a week was long enough.  Anyways since I don’t know of many country singers I would like suggestions of singers, places to watch vids listen to music etc. since I don’t have cable.

African Features and Hair Drama

All I have to say is You Go Girl!