You’re Not My Preference, But Wink Re-post

This goes for eHarmony and chemistry (Ironic that it’s their ad about Eharmony’s rejections. This also goes for other dating sites.

http://kathmanduk2.wordpress.com/2010/03/20/interracial-dating-online-the-importance-of-skin-color-in-choosing-who-we-date/

This is a great post. And on that note I have something to say in regards to black not being checked on dating sites. I know some have stated that give a man a chance. Many white, Asian etc. don’t know black women may be interested in them, but I say please to that. I’m sorry, but if he didn’t check all or checked everything but black don’t be trying to wink or make any contact with me. The man has already stated that I am not a preference. He wants to talk to me there is something called editing your profile. Even then I don’t know if I will talk to them.

There is something about black women being encouraged to respond to men that do this on Eharmony and other dating sites that just rub me the wrong way. It for one makes us look like we will put up with anything. Think about it. These men would never have to say they have a preference for us, because they know we’d respond to give them the so-called benefit of the doubt. So you never know if they really have a preference for black women. Please not me honey! Better take that wink for someone checked on the box! If I see in the profile the blurb on what a guy likes and he goes on about dating ww, latina, asian etc., but hasn’t stated in his little blurb that he also would like to date black women or he doesn’t say has no particular preference I am not commenting. He better find someone else cause it ain’t bgurrl.

Actually that’s what gets me about Eharmony and similar sites. If it’s all about matching people on compatibility, likes, values etc. then why is race even considered? I mean what does race have to do with values. Now yes there can be differences from cultures and also the way a certain race is treated in society, but still many are compatible when it comes values etc.

It’s just something degenerating of a man who has preferences checked, that are anything, but black, but want to wink at black women. I say leave those men a lone. If they are genuine then as I said there is something called editing their profile.

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I’m re-posting this because I have seen a few blogs and comments telling black women to take a chance even if he doesn’t have all ethnicities or black women check on his profile. Also when the guy mentions the women he is looking for. I’m sorry, but I wouldn’t want to nor see any other woman want to subject herself to this. As I stated before these men will learn they don’t have to put you as a preference. Therefore you don’t really know if they would have preferred you. They will now think “I can give this black woman a wink and she will respond, because they respond even when we don’t state a preference for them”. Sorry, but I’m just not up for that.

Frankly I wish there was a filtering dating site where if someone says they don’t smoke nor want a smoker they won’t see a smoker when they search a profile and vice versa for the other person. I’m not saying discriminate on smokers or non-smokers. What I am saying is there needs to be a filter put in place. If a man or woman checks a box saying they don’t mind all ethnicities then they will get not only a person who checked the same box, but others who checked multiple boxes (with their ethnicity checked) That means if a black woman checks all ethnicities and a guy hasn’t checked her ethnicity then she shouldn’t see his profile nor he hers, but they both should see the people who checked the all button (unless the person has written in their profile that they only want certain ethnicities (what they write in the what you are looking for section should be a filtering as well). I know it might be difficult, complicated, and maybe expensive process, but I think many of these sites especially these paid sites need to do this.

Until someone does this please don’t talk with anyone who winks at you, but has not listed your ethnicity as a preference. We will not be the back-up plan, booty call, hollaback girl, or go to girl for no damn body.

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