So I was too late in signing up for the NWNW, but I am definitely supporting this cause. I think NWNW should be promoted in the black community as well as America as a whole. We have come to the belief that out of wedlock birth is the norm, or that it’s an alternative.
As someone who was raised by a single mom from this very situation; I will honestly say that this is farther from the truth. Now I love my mom and learned from her. My mom was the first to tell me that she if she had known better she would have waited. I take no offense. She encouraged me to date, because when she was a kid my grandmother was so controlling (abusive) that she never let her or my aunts date. My mom and aunts spent their child years taking care of younger siblings as if they were their children (no fault of my gram as her hubbie turned out to be a loser. She kicked him out. Realised if she was going to be doing back she would do it without him) She worked multiple jobs. Most times she didn’t see the kids so they were free to run around and act crazy (but remember this was in the days of the real “it takes a village to raise a child”
My grandmother was one of serveral baby mammas of my grandfather (but you wouldn’t have known it, because back then they didn’t go around airing that laundry)
Anyways back to my mom. She went off to school and when she saw my dad she thought he was cute. She walked up to him and told him she thought he was cute (big mistake (she told me), because if he didn’t ask her out then he might have JNBTIH) She never told me that she didn’t want to have me etc. just that she’d wished she knew more about men. He was her first ever relationship so she thought he was it. Then she found out that he had other children, and several women. That’s why she left him. She didn’t want to be sharing no man. I even literally share the same birthday with several of my brothers and sisters.
My mom always taught me about the birds and the beas. In fact she told me as early as seven years old. Told me about my period. Everything. She retold me until I was sick of it. Hell even in my early 20’s.
Most of my child hood until I graduated high school and even some college my mom worked two jobs or more. She worked to get her college degrees while raising me. This meant that she was often tired. Many times she would yell at me for things that didn’t make sense, because (as I’m older I understand) exhaustion. My mother has even told me that had she been married she would have home schooled me at least for the first 5 or 6 years of my life so I wouldn’t have to be taken care of by someone else during those formative years. Most times because of work, school, and exhaustion we missed out on a lot of things together. I mean seriously when I was a kid my mantra with one of my cousins was I don’t believe my mom until I see it happening, because she would make plans or promises like going to the movies, a game or putting me in soccer and then it would never happen. I got so used to it I just learned to ignore what she said, but giving the appearence of listening or being excited, because I knew nothing was going to come of it. When she would say “thought I’d forgotten” or “thought I wasn’t going to do it” I would inwardly be saying yes, but outwardly saying no inorder to avoid hurting her feelings. I understood and understand why she had to work and how hard she work and love and respect her for the sacrifices that she had to make in order give us the life we had. There are times thought I wondered what it would have been like to have my dad around (killed when I was a child. anyone surprised with that?) even if they weren’t married. Now yes because of being alone a lot I learned how to teach myself how to make my own fun (that also has to do with being an only child) I also taught myself many things and learned things from watching tv (mostly PBS) I read a lot etc. , but there is not replacement for seeing your mother happy not always tired.
I remember some girl asking at ask.com how she could get a job or what type of degree she could get that help her make a lot of money, because she didn’t want to be like her mom. She didn’t want to work a whole slew of jobs and always be tired, pissed off, and exhausted. Many of the morons (yes I said morons) blasted this young girl by telling her ” you want to be like your mom” she’s a hard worker. You need to learn from her and get off your but etc.” I was thinking how the hell do you know the girl isn’t hard working herself? One reason I shy away from Ask.com cause the fools come out to give advice just so they can have something to say. She worked so you could do this yadaa yadaa yadaa as if these fools lived with this women. This girls comments are valid. She doesn’t want to be having to work so hard for little money with no help that she barely sees her kids and when she does the first thing she does when she comes through the door is to find something to yell or complain about in order to let off steam from the stress she is experience at work. Now child should have to go throught that. It’s torture, because then you feel like something is your fault that you don’t understand and have no control of. I love my mom, but I would love it when she would have a second job (I know contridictory) because that meant that I could be in peace and quiet and not have to hear her complaining or yelling at me for not washing dishes that she would yell at me for not washing a certain way ( I mean seriously) same with cleaning the house. After a while I just stopped doing it.
She always made it a point to make sure I was around the married couples in our family especially the older ones. She didn’t want me to think baby mamma drama was normal. She didn’t raise me to think I was a mistake and I don’t believe that. But I have always taken to heart what she taught me about the difference between sex and love. No sex education can teach you about love. That’s something these classes don’t prepare the young for. They tell them about sex, but not the emotions that can be overwhelming that get you to that point. She made it a point to explain it to me, because she believes that it’s the parents duty. The school should just be a tool to inform youth, but not a replacement for what a parent teaches the children.
I think No Wedding No Womb is wonderful movement. What’s great about is it encourages women to call a plan of action for themselves. Our leaders are ineffective so why not do for ourselves. I think many things would be solved if people would start self-governing. We can’t always rely on others to help us. Frankly if you want something like oow birth rate to drop you can’t rely on those who don’t have your best interest at heart.